


I told myself I've got nothing to lose

by changingsmile



Series: A3! Rarepair Week 2020 [5]
Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: A3! Rarepairs Week 2020, Act 9 Spoilers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:47:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25350376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changingsmile/pseuds/changingsmile
Summary: Alone in the courtyard, Citron was left to ponder his relationship with Guy.A3! Rarepair Week Day 5Prompt: Goodbyes
Relationships: Citron/Guy (A3!)
Series: A3! Rarepair Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1829380
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	I told myself I've got nothing to lose

**Author's Note:**

> *sorry if you haven't read Act 9 lolol  
> *Yeah they're not speaking jpn this whole fic

In a broad sense, Citron knew that in order to live the life he wanted there would be trade-offs. Still he never thought it to be possible. A life not dictated by a fate he couldn’t escape was a dream. So when that dream was suddenly being granted all he could focus on was his elation. How could he have predicted his current feelings? 

-

Alone in the courtyard, Citron was left to ponder his relationship with Guy. For as long as he could remember he wanted to be closer, to have a more casual relationship, to have a friend. Ever since he personally pointed out Guy and demanded to have him be his main servant he had had a special interest in him. Citron was unsure why he felt drawn to him, but he couldn’t let Guy go on missions that would inevitably lead to his death. Once he got what he wanted though Citron faced another issue. Guy’s android status. It was obvious nonsense but the other had believed it so completely. Frustrated by his new servant’s inability to grasp Citron’s emotions, he acted out in a childish manner. Pulling pranks on him in an attempt to get a reaction quickly grew old and trying to get him to recognize beauty and fun was futile. Still, Citron couldn’t wholly give up on him. Beyond all his misplaced anger he cared for Guy and was saddened that he couldn’t experience the breadth of human emotion. Quite the pair they made. A lonely prince and his android. 

The year he spent without Guy felt all too long. Yet once Guy arrived at Mankai to take him back, Citron felt as if it had all passed far too quickly. Despite their odd dynamic Citron had craved Guy’s company. He loved everyone in Mankai dearly, but he felt guilty being there without Guy. He knew Guy viewed their relationship as strictly master/servant, but what if he had the chance to live freely? He could recover his memories, his emotions, and hopefully find a passion along the way. Then he may be able to look back on his memories with Citron and perhaps regard him as a friend. ‘Look back’ because Citron had left him behind once again. He was sure Mankai would take care of him. If Citron removed himself completely and severed Guy’s ties to Zahra he’d finally be free. Right? Citron would be unable to ever meet him again, but if this was what it took for Guy to reclaim his life then it was okay. 

It was during Winter Troupe’s performance that Citron realized it wasn’t okay. It was through seeing Guy on stage that he recognized he wanted more than just friendship. He had squashed those emotions for so long. Constantly told himself that it was only platonic. Citron? With a man of Guy’s social status? And a servant at that? It was impossible. Citron was very intimately familiar with how the upper echelon treated those they viewed as beneath them. He witnessed the scorn his mother would endure because she was a peasant that got lucky enough to have the firstborn son out of the ladies in his father’s harem. It would be better for Guy to live a life completely separate from Citron and for Citron to obediently ascend the throne and marry a woman to his family and peers’ liking. However Mankai had a funny way of throwing a wrench in even the most concrete of plans. Citron felt envious. Envious of the Guy that was acting in front of the people of Zahra, Winter Troupe who shared the stage with him, and all of Mankai who got to witness Guy’s change. Citron wished he could’ve been there.

He didn’t want to become king and most of all he didn’t want to live without Guy. 

  
  


Citron was beginning to think he was greedy. He was overcome with complicated emotions watching Guy navigate his new life as an actor. Guy was officially his servant no longer. They were equals and they could speak freely as friends. But now that the option to have more than that was a possibility, Citron craved the closeness. It filled him with joy to be able to see Guy’s emotions blossom more and more each day yet Citron wanted to monopolize them. Once Guy stopped being his servant, Citron was no longer the sole object of his attention. Jealousy wasn't becoming of Citron especially when everything about this was his manufacturing. If he genuinely wanted Guy to himself, he would have never left him at Mankai. His mind knew that this was healthier for Guy, but his heart wanted to keep him all to himself. Citron wondered how long he’d be able to hide this ugly part of his personality. 

He had almost cracked earlier that day. Hearing how Guy had been steadily working towards his own bar had broken a piece of himself that he was desperately trying to keep together. Citron had been kept in the dark throughout the entire process. All of the Winter Troupe members had been helping him, Omi too, but Citron was never asked for any assistance. He was being unreasonable. Surely Guy simply didn’t want to rely on Citron,  _ his former employer,  _ to accomplish this new goal of his. He may have wanted to prove to Citron that he was learning to become an independent person and that he had his own aspirations he was capable of achieving without using Citron’s status or money to jumpstart it. To Citron, it felt as if he was being purposefully excluded from an important milestone in Guy’s life.

“ _ Citronia _ ?” 

Suddenly hearing Guy’s voice didn’t startle Citron. He always had a habit of finding Citron when he least wanted him to. 

“Mm?”

“ _ It’s late. You’ll catch a cold staying out in just your robe. _ ” 

“ _ No need to act like my servant, Guy. _ ” 

“ _ I am saying this as a friend. _ ” 

Friend..to think those words would have elated Citron not too long ago. He felt warmth as Guy sat next to him. 

“ _ Is that all that I am to you?”  _

_ “...I don’t understand what you’re asking, Citronia.”  _

_ “Useless as ever.”  _

A large hand gently lay against Citron’s lower back, feeling all too hot through the thin fabric of his robe. He wanted nothing more than to lean into Guy’s side. He refrained. 

“ _ I don’t understand, but I want to.”  _

At that Citron turned his head to face Guy with a smile that did nothing to hide the sadness he felt. Having Guy so close had Citron spilling what was on his mind all too easily. 

“ _ I feel as if you are slipping through my fingers...I fear as time passes I will have no room in your life.”  _

Citron could see Guy processing what he said and attempting to form an appropriate response. He didn’t mind waiting as Guy collected his thoughts; Citron was used to waiting. 

“ _ When I made my oath to stay by your side, there was no expiration date. No matter what we do or how our relationship dynamic changes, I will be with you through it all.”  _

Guy had said similar to him before, but why now did it feel as if there was more hiding behind those words?

_ “Citronia, if I may?”  _

Before Citron could ask what he meant, his words were stopped short by Guy cupping his face. The touch was so gentle, as if he thought anything more would cause Citron to bolt. Citron didn’t even recall nodding his head, too wrapped up in his own disbelief birthed from Guy kissing him. Guy’s satisfied smile after pulling away had Citron continue to be left speechless.

_ “It is not often that you have nothing to say.” _

_ “It is not often that you leave me this shocked.”  _

_ “I wanted to wait until my business was opened before I did this...but I felt as if now was the time.”  _

_ “Hm, You’re learning...I guess I can’t call you useless anymore.”  _

A calloused thumb brushed Citron’s cheek softly. 

_ “No, but you can call me your partner.”  _

**Author's Note:**

> *Title from aNYway by Duck Sauce


End file.
